The Definition of You.

It seems that in young people today they are being jammed to the brim with the words of "be who you are!". I know that in high school and growing up I was expected to fall into the grove that was paved for me by my parents. Since I grew up in a home of adults I feel that I grew up faster than I should have. Even at the young age of twenty I feel that I have seen the years of someone two to five years older in age. Although by writing this blog I don't wish or mean to sound like I know everything and I understand that I am still young and have alot to learn. In my small town its all about name, who your parents are and what do they mean to the community. Many people in my religion feel that many deviant teenagers and young people need to find them shelves. When I have seen and experienced both sides of the fence I tend to disagree with the statement of "finding your self." Isn't life more about creating your self. I was not born knowing who I am and how to define myself. I didn't lose that because I didn't have it there fore I cannot find it. I believe that we are born with a blank canvas. I know that this can lead into many discussions about alcoholism and sexuality but I'm not heading down that road.But I just want to express my deep love and commitment to creating myself. To many people let life go by them in a blur. We have been blessed to live in a place where we can do pretty much anything we desire. The opportunities that we have at our feet are endless. Yet the majority of us just wave at them as they go by due to fear, insecurity,pressure and misunderstanding. The main purpose of this is to inspire. The complete brilliance of this gift that only our father in heaven could have dreamt. The gift to create ourselves. It is not the product of our upbringing its what we do with that upbringing that makes us who we are. Maybe this is more a of a mental state because I do respect science and the fact that things have been proven to be correlated to your up bringing. But that doesn't mean that you are bound by that. Many people use the excuse of "that's how they were taught" when really its not a valid excuse at all. No matter your situation or your background the power to create yourselves is placed in your hands. I have to admit that I have taken advantage of this power because like every artist and their canvas there comes a time when you have to commit to the outcome. Luckily the lord gives us a pencil instead of a pen to make our painting. I can erase the part of my painting that I don't like. We all can. Don't take advantage of this gift and during this time of year really be thankful for that number 2 pencil. Wish, dream, believe and create.

Twilight (movie)

So after years of reading and rereading the twilight series and falling in love with the characters I find that the movie was some what lacking. Although I have to say that when it comes out on DVD I will be buying it. If I'm buying it because I enjoyed the movie or just for the collection value I do not know. As far as the movie goes....well I was laughing in all the wrong places, and trying to get over Edwards five-0-clock shadow. If you go into the movie having the idea that it was made for the age group of 14-18 year old girls then you will enjoy this movie. I feel that it went to fast and its all kinda a blur. I would have been able to sit through anotherr 45 mins to get more out of it. The roles of jasper and Alice where down played alot and I felt a yearning for more screen time for Alice. Charlie is a hoot and any young girl that has a over protective father will get a kick out of his attitude. James couldn't have been cast any better that actor plays evil so well. I feel that this movie would have disappointed it older readers considering the lack in base. If you have not read the books I feel that the movie would almost be floating out there with no real foundation. I don't feel that the director spent enough time on the base of the story before she leaped into her climax. For what they where given I feel they presented a good movie but nothing can beat the books. "Hold on tight my little spider monkey"

The Fight Within

The Fight Within.

I can sense it stirring under my skin.
Its own tainted needs so vigorous to contain.
This inevitable fight I cannot uncover an impartial win
Your untouched soul so soon shall I stain.

The unquenchable aroma of your unmarked blood.
The uninvited necessity I have hidden within.
To rob the desirable dew from an innocent rose bud.
Be forsaken to hell I will for such an intolerable sin.

The concealed pain pierces so frequently.
This threatening relentless mayhem in my mind
In the violent shadows I’m lost to insanity.
Our blurred destines are now firmly intertwined.

O God! This vital fight how I do highly resent
But so much force within , my moist throat so tense.
Wilted is the rose abandoned is the vividness.
Brilliance has vanished from the world due to weakness.

- Courtney Laine Jones-

A New Beginning

A New Beginning.

We have come so far in these carefree days,
Together we stand as one yet all unique.
The roads that bend and turn delude our way.
Were we all once so timid and meek?
If our paths do not cross in our forthcoming
Please remember me and all the memories.
Cherish you, I do, for you’re a true blessing.
As we stride to our new destinies
Remember who you have become
For years we have longed for freedom.
Yet now at this time of graduation
We wish for the chains of restriction.
We are strong willed and educated
But when we are old and out dated
Remember the times of laughter and wonder.
As we stared in to our future lives with vigor.
With the tears there is also joy in this end
For we are the new beginning.
My fellow graduates, my class mates,
But more importantly My Friends.
This is not the end but the beginning.

-Courtney L. Jones-

To the Cedar High Graduating class of 2007

Adopted Heart

Adopted Heart


He told her that he loved her.
He told her that he cared.
How those untold feelings stir.
She told him she was scared.

She was six-teen when she heard
Her mother held her every night.
Next nine-months she heard no word.
He had left her, heart Strangled tight.

There she was nine months gone by.
She had chosen to give you love.
I love her so much a mothers ties
She gave you to me from heaven above

She told me to tell you.
She went through it all for you.
She just wanted to give you love.
Child I love you, She does too…

Courtney Jones

Dedicated to Hunter and Jammie.